It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
