I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
