dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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