Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
