Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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