not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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