I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
