Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
