it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
