I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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