every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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