Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Im so hungover

(248): View more from Michigan

Come over i have rolls

(201): View more from New Jersey

Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?

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(312): View more from Illinois

I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me

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(757): View more from Virginia

I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.

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(206): View more from Washington

Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.

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(561): View more from Florida

I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?

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(847): View more from Illinois

When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.

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(512): View more from Texas

So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?

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