I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
