saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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