i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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