I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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