Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
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