he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
