do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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