used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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