all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
