Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
