Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
