Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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