You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
