dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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