WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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