2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
