I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
