You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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