O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
