Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Randomize
