woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize