know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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