Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize