Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
