I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
