Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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