Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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