there was a trapeze. enough said
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
