That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize