If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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