Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
