He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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