I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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