Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I FOUND THE LEGS
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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