every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
