first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
