You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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