I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
