I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
