1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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