I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Randomize
