Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
