Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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