No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
