the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
