Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
