I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
