I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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