we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize